How Brilliantly Maddening and Divinely Hilarious
HOW BRILLIANTLY MADDENING AND DIVINELY HILARIOUS that there are certain lessons I am here to learn in this incarnation… and the universe will gift me with the most meticulously crafted challenging scenarios as opportunities for me to break through my conditioning, so that I can transcend to my next level of awareness + alignment. 🤯🚀
…And if I don’t fully master the challenge and learn the lesson, the consciousness program will inevitably send me another opportunity in the form of an eerily similar difficult situation. And then another and then another and another. And I’m spinning around and around in this wild loop of dejavu until I finally surrender 🌹 ⚡️
For example: perhaps there is a trait I am intolerant of, and it’s blocking my ability to perceive reality through a clear lens. I can rest assured knowing that the universe will send me an endless stream of friends and lovers who carry this trait until I finally learn to accept it and relate to it in a more mature way 😜.
Anything I am incorrectly avoiding will show up in my life constantly in infinite forms, progressively creating more and more suffering, until I finally give in and confront it. When I embrace the unknown and choose truth over my familiar patterning, that’s when I complete the cycle and become available for a new experience.
There have been two times in my life when I thought I was lost so I went to Latin America to work at a plant medicine retreat center. The first time I did this, they fired me. As I was crying, they said to me “you don’t want to be here. You don’t realize that right now but it’s obvious to us and soon you will thank us”.
Only a few days later it became clear that they were absolutely correct, I just couldn’t see it yet through my conditioned fear. Had I not left at that exact time, I would not have had certain experiences that radically changed the trajectory of my life in the most beautiful and perfect ways.
The second time several years later, I was working at a different center and similar patterns were showing up. Instead of clinging to what was familiar and forcing others to make my decision for me, I was able to discern on my own that I didn’t want to be there. I respectfully informed the retreat leader that it didn’t feel like a fit. He told me the sentiment was mutual 🤪
He expressed that he could tell that I am a leader, and I should be somewhere my leadership is wanted. I left with grace, dignity and maturity.
I have gate 42 in an undefined sacral, the gate of endings, the power to stay with a cycle until the very end in order to maximize its potential. But the undefined sacral doesn’t know when enough is enough. And my undefined spleen will fight HARD to hold onto false comfort and security. etc etc.
And then my Saturn return brings me gate 53, the gate of beginnings, defining the Channel of Maturation. I know it’s not recommended to try and analyze my return chart while I’m in it but I can’t help it, I have a 1st line investigative personality with a heavily defined mind 😜.
I wonder: is it finally time for me to mature by bringing closure to some of the most infuriating cycles that have been defining themes in my life’s narrative, so that I can begin something totally new? 🌱
In a several areas of my life, I’m finding myself confronted with opportunities to step up and break the pattern. I know I will inevitably continue to fumble through via trial and error, I have a third line body after all.
But with this newfound awareness of my ✨nervous system✨ I am feeling more empowered than ever before to experiment with new approaches. To take a leap of faith because I trust that I am strong enough hold myself through the discomfort of the unknown, and resilient enough to embrace the mistakes I need to make- in order to become the woman I am here to be, on a whole new level 🔮🦋 🌈