Not everyone wants to emote with me 🤷🏻♀️
“Not everyone wants to emote with you” … this was a funny reflection I received from an Ego Manifestor the other day 😆
This is something that I have been very much aware of for a while, but only recently begun to accept. Even before HD came into my life, it has been obvious to me that I tend to be very comfortable in the realm of emotions, and not everybody wants to meet me there.
I am an emotionally defined through the 12-22. A passionate emotional chemistry that connects directly to the throat, I always love to talk about feelings, it is integral to who I am and how I move through life. A huge area of growth for me has been learning to accept the people in my life who have open solar plexus- or are simply emotionally unavailable (at least to me😜) for reasons I need not try to understand.
When I notice an unreciprocated desire for emotional connection or processing, this is an opportunity for me to get honest with myself and ask:
How badly do I actually want this? *This* being, an emotional connection or clearing conversation with somebody who I don’t feel emotionally met by.
Do I want it badly enough to continue pursuing it, despite their resistance? To consciously put myself in that vulnerable position with someone who is not creating safety? And if the answer is no…
Do I want to continue being in connection with them? What might need to shift about our relationship, or what might I have to get right with on my own, in order for the connection to feel correct?
For example: Am I okay with accepting a friend that I can laugh and have fun with, but can’t go much deeper than that? What boundaries do I need to set for myself in the relationship, knowing that if something were to hurt or trigger me, they wouldn’t be available to process this? Or: Is it true for me to compartmentalize and keep a job with a company that operates in ways that hurt my heart and spirit? If I cannot share what’s on my heart with my employers, what personal work could I do to alleviate my dissonance?
In the past, I was not able to accept these sorts of relationships. My attitude was: I am not here for superficial experiences even if we have fun together, even if you’re paying me well, even if you’re family- if you’re not available to connect honestly and deeply, I am not interested!
My gate 49 design sun is in line 3, bonds made and broken when it comes to my principles. Regardless of whether this was truly my principle or if it was conditioning, in classic 3rd line style I have discovered what doesn’t work about it.
My mind likes to create rigid moral judgments in attempt to protect me from hurt. For example, my mind thinks it is innately ‘wrong’ when people can’t (or don’t want to) meet me emotionally. This has historically made it challenging for me to accept people as they are and accept the relationship as it is instead of either leaving it or trying to force more depth of connection.
These days, I don’t care about being right, I care about having peace. My mind still cares a lot about being right, but I am not my mind. And if peace means learning that bonds can be correct even if we don’t talk about our feelings that often, and that relationships need not be so black and white, so be it ✌️