Deconditioning in Relationships: How to Stop Trying to Control and Change Others

The more I learn + grow to love and trust myself and honor my unique operating system, the less I feel tempted to try to change and control others.

When I am operating correctly as myself, my relationships feel too good to be true! It feels wild that the universe allows me to have this much love in my life. So much fun, laughter, magic, authenticity, support, permission and acceptance. Abundance doesn’t even begin to describe it ✨

But if I am not operating correctly, I forget my sense of purpose and my life force dims. My whole being gets funky and dysregulated and I fall out of rhythm, which negatively impacts my ability to connect with others.

I have a hard time being present with people. I neglect to call my family. I’m too exhausted and contracted to prioritize fun and socializing. I procrastinate initiating difficult but important conversations.

And thus, this will inevitably lead to me feeling lonely and unmet.

And then, my mind may try to tell me that in order for me to have my needs met, someone else has to change, make different choices and show up differently. I think I need you to fill the void.

And if I haven’t been keeping up with my meditative practices, I may be prone to believing my mind! I might think, “if this person does not love/support me in the way I think I want them to, I will be deprived of love/support” or “if these external systems and structures do not change, I cannot experience peace”

But ultimately, I now feel confident that my peace, alignment and fulfillment is not contingent upon anyone else’s behavior. Not my family, friends or lovers- and certainly not the government 🤪 This has been one of the greatest gifts of my deconditioning experiment.

You do you, I do me- and if/when we meet in the intersection of this, it will be beautiful! And if/when this means our paths diverge, I have no doubt that my life will continue to be beautiful and I wish you the same ✨

If reading my words illuminated something for you or inspired you in some way, imagine what you might receive from two hours of my focused attention on your Human Design chart 😘

My readings are a space of full approval to ask and/or share anything you desire. It is a laboratory for you to experiment with getting to know your authentic self, and the unique vehicle you have incarnated into.

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