Reflections on Starting Expressive Arts Therapy Grad School and Navigating Woke Culture

Last night I returned from my first grad school retreat!

(I’m getting my masters in Expressive Arts Therapy/Counseling Psychology , LMFT track through CIIS 🎨💃🏻✨)

There are so many things that I find super cool about the program! It’s rooted in a deep awareness of the limitations of the mind, reverence for the mystery, and experimentation with creative somatic practices that help us tap into new ways of knowing and being. I love that we weave embodiment and art into everything we learn. There’s so much passion and heart. I’m allowed to draw during class🥳

And naturally, there are parts I am still feeling into how to authentically navigate. To be blunt, what currently feels most alive is that I’m experiencing judgment and resistance towards what I interpret as the programs agenda to condition me into a radical leftist social justice warrior. I already went through a phase like that and outgrew it. I know that trip!

One of my core intentions during this incarnation is to work towards freeing myself from all conditioned beliefs and prejudices that distort my awareness, so that I can look out at the world and perceive reality as clearly as possible.

Obviously, cultivating cultural awareness/humility and an understanding of power, privilege and oppression is in service to this aim. But, the dilemma arises when I overly identify with a polarized worldview and this becomes just another rigid cognitive lens I’m filtering every situation through, which can sometimes distract me from seeing and feeling what’s actually happening and acting accordingly.

So, a few of my main challenges with “woke culture” or whatever you want to call it is that I find a lot of it to be ineffective, and often delusionally hostile to Jews.

That said- I am trying my best to let down my defenses, set aside my preconceived judgments and surrender to the process. because I realize that this, like many of the transformational modalities I find myself drawn to, has a lot in common with Ayahuasca. Yes, she has her own agenda that may or may not match my truth. But if I resist her and refuse to look at what she’s trying to reveal to me, it will be a nightmare.

Once the medicine is already in my system, the only effective choice is to remember that I chose this, and surrender. Open to the unknown. Practice presence and allow the work to work me. Commit to embracing what comes up even when its challenging/uncomfortable, because I trust my ability to navigate through to the other side.

Be in the experience for what it is without trying to make too much sense of it, and trust that afterwards I will have the opportunity to move through my ✨emotional authority✨ process in order to discern which realizations to implement into my life, and which to release.

At one point, I named to the class: “I’m noticing that I’m resisting this process. I’m not sure if I trust it yet. Trying to put words to why, I already carry insecurity and guilt around my privilege. I have a fear of taking on even more of this- because what I’m wondering is: will this process actually help me to have a more peaceful impact? Or, will it produce/amplify unnecessary heaviness and darkness that actually makes me less effective?”

My professor told me that this is a valid question to ask!

In conclusion, I am so infinitely grateful to have such a deep connection to my passion and my purpose, and the privilege to pursue a career path that aligns with this. I am excited to keep learning!🔮🦋♥️